Craptastic Cinema

Celebrating The Best Of The Worst Movies

One thing that can be learned from the content on this site is that a bad movie can be made at any time, and in any form. Many times, we find that sequels to great movies turn out to be among the bottom of the sludge when looked at on their own. This is true many times actually. Look at such movie franchises as Jaws, Spider Man, Superman, The Matrix, The Godfather, and more. All of them start great, and go down the tubes with each sequel release. Many even consider the Star Wars prequel trilogy (released after the original trilogy) to complete garbage despite the massive numbers each of the movies did in the box office.

The real rarity is when you have a movie, that is considered terrible on it’s own, spawn a series of bad movies. We here at Craptastic Cinema have decided that it would be fun to rank a few of these series against each other. Once and for all we can determine what series can truly be called the Worst Movie Series of All Time.

First off, a little regulations for how these series were selected. These are series in which even the first film was considered bad on most levels. This is not personal beef bad, this is just bad bad. So even though the Twilight series was recently named the worst of all time by another reviewer out there, we will not include it. Like them or not, those movies are high budget, get the box office returns to justify it too. They have their fans, and they come out in masses to support the films. Much like Star Wars fans with the prequels. No, these are movies that may have seen a moment of surprise success, but it was short lived. It was enough of a success that it spawned a sequel, that some how got a sequel, and so on. Another factor we looked at, the amount of sequels. One or two sequels is common, so we looked for some that resulted in more than that. In a couple situations though, we took content of the films into consideration over the amount of sequels.

You may have noticed that I mentioned “we” above. That is because I consulted a couple of my movie nerd friends on this one, and got their feedback. In the end, the list and is 100% me, but I asked them for guidance to ensure I stayed on the right mindset for this list. Enough chit chat, onto the list of the Worst Movie Series of All Time.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

01 Childs_Play Child’s Play Series: The Child’s Play series is one that must have originally looked great on paper. How many parents have been woken up by their kids who were frightened by a doll of theirs in the corner of their room? Now what if that doll really was possessed by the spirit of a serial killer who is looking for a human sacrifice so that he could return to human form? That is some spooky stuff right there. However, it just did not work well on film. First off, Chucky is a doll. Lock it in a damn box if you can’t kill it. If it starts charging at you, kick it away. I mean seriously, what adult can’t out muscle a small child. Struggle? Maybe. Lose a fight? Never. After the first three sharing a story arch, the sequels that followed went a different route. There is talks of a reboot of this series, but only in the direct-to-video form. With that release, there will be six movies in this series. It did not make it onto the list mainly because there is another series that features a villain of similar stature, but has a bit more going for it.
02 Craptastic Cinema Cyborg Cyborg Series: The original Cyborg movie was made out of necessity. Cannon Films, the producing movie studio, had already began production on two different movies before the bottom fell out from both. Those movies would have been a live action Spider Man movie, and the sequel to Craptastic Cinema inductee Masters of the Universe. So they had these props, costumes, and sets made, but no movie to make. A script was tossed together over the course of a weekend, and 24 days later Cyborg was completed. Cyborg spawned two sequels, neither of which had any actual relation to the original. Cyborg 2 is actually the first movie with Angelina Jolie in a lead role. Neither of the sequels are worse than the original, but none of the of the series is all that good. They did not make the list is because there is a cheesy goodness to these movies. The first film was better than expected, and the sequels have their charm too. None of them are good, but they are not bad enough to be consider the worst movie series of all time.
03 Craptastic Cinema Robot Jox Robot Jox: A former rental store favorite of mine, Robot Jox was all sorts of Craptastic. People fighting each other in giant robots? What is not to love? Well it was very low budget. It had a bad script, and horrible acting. I will admit though, I loved the movie. Expect an induction for it soon. What I didn’t know was that there were sequels for it. When my family finally got the movie channels on our cable subscription, I was introduced to the two of them. Called (at the time) “Robot Jox 2: Crash and Burn”, and “Robot Jox 3: Robot Wars”, both films were as Craptastic as the original. However, neither of the movies were actually related to the original. They all shared a look, and theme, but nothing connected them to each other except a producer. Be that as it may, they are all movies I am fond of. No amount of cinema quality here, but they are good enough to not make it to the top five worst movie series of all time.

TOP 5 WORST MOVIE SERIES OF ALL TIME

01 Craptastic Cinema Ernest Ernest P. Worrell Series: Ernest P. Worrell was a creation by an advertising and marketing company. Brought to life by the actor Jim Varney, Ernest was a redneck you can trust. Him, and you the viewer as “Vern”, would soon be in various television markets promoting different stores. In my area growing up, he was promoting John L Sullivan Chevrolet for example. All of these commercials would feature his catchphrases “Hey Vern” and “KnowhutImean?” in them. Yep, before there was “Git-R-Done” as the redneck anthem, there was “KnowhutImean?”. ‘Merica!!!

His popularity in these spots caused enough interest to create long form stories based on the character. The first was a direct to video called “KnowhutImean? Hey Vern, It’s My Family Album”. That was another rental store favorite of mine growing up. From there, it just got crazy. The character made a cameo in the film “Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam”, but then was the star of “Ernest Goes to Camp” and eight more “Ernest” films. There was also several made for television specials, and Ernest’s own TV show. For those counting, that makes a total of 29 Ernest films or shows to complete the series. Were any of them any good? Of course not. They were the worst, bottom of the barrel, slapstick, mixed with poop jokes, movies that anyone could imagine. Acting did not exist in these films, but there was plenty of overacting.

Some of the movies did have their charm. For example, the first three major release films are popular among fans. Those are “Ernest Goes To Camp”, “Ernest Saves Christmas”, and “Ernest Goes To Jail”. I personally really like “Dr. Otto…” myself. But with the sheer number of movies and specials, the bad outweighs the good. Ernest P. Worrell rightfully earns the title of Worst Movie Series of All Time.

02 Craptastic Cinema Angel Angel Series: “High School Honor Student by Day, Hollywood Hooker by Night”. That was the tagline of the first Angel movie, and with that prevented me from being able to convince my parents to rent the movie for me as a child. When I finally got around to watching the movie, it had spawned three sequels. I figured that maybe there must have been some quality to them if there was now four movies in the series. I was wrong. The first movie is exactly what the tag line says it is. So this little girl is on her own, raised by pimps and the such. She got caught up in a murder mystery, and in her own way saved the day.

The actual nice thing about the series is that the sequels are actually just that, sequels. They make a full story of Angel growing up, going to college, and more. However, she always gets called back to the streets to solve a crime. It should be noted though that a different actress played Angel in each movie. Not a big thing since they are supposed to take place many years apart.

None of the movies are really all that good, and they are very low budget. By the time part 4 rolled around, it turned into a late night boob flick series. The disturbing thing is that this was a series based around a 15 year old girl who was a prostitute because she chose to. The original was so popular, that people wanted more. So on content, and the disturbing mindset of American movie watchers, the Angel series is the 2nd Worst Movie Series of All Time.

03 Craptastic Cinema American Ninja American Ninja Series: A more or less all white cast developing a Kung Fu movie, where could you go wrong? Need I go on?Another film where Cannon Films had to bite the bullet, spawned into a series of it’s own. Originally it was developed to be a Chuck Norris film called American Warrior, but when he backed out, they scrambled to make any film. It was popular enough that it was made into a series containing a total of five movies. The films actually connect to each other through the characters, kinda. Allow me to Explain.

The first two movies had the same actor playing the American Ninja. The third through fifth films have a different actor in the role. In the forth movie though, the original actor came back to the series, but to play a different character. He was a sidekick to the American Ninja. It just looked odd. Then in part five, they changed the character name to the American Ninja himself. So it was just a bit of confusion there.

All the movies do suck, seriously bad. The fights are dumb, and too mapped out. There is nothing worth watching in these series, except the charm of how bad they all are.

04 Craptastic Cinema Leprechaun Leprechaun Series: This Leprechaun isn’t protecting a bowl of Lucky Charms. Oh no, this bad boy is all about his pot of gold. If you touch it, you die. More or less that is the plot of the movie. Was is scary? No. Was it good? No. Did it have it’s fans? Guess so, considering this damn movie has five sequels. Each one is worse than the one prior. Like Chucky in the Child’s Play series, the Leprechaun just isn’t a believable bad guy. Just kick the damn thing. Lock it in a box, pour cement over it. Whatever. It just isn’t scary. I guess the fact that the Leprechaun has magic makes it better when compared to Child’s Play.

What worked for the series was the great acting by Warwick Davis in the title role. This guy is the master in roles like this. Most people remember him as Willow, or in the Harry Potter series. Some know he was also an Ewok in “Return of the Jedi”, but this is without a doubt his signature series. The seventh movie of the series is currently in production by WWE Films with WWE little person wrestler Hornswoggle in the title role. This has all the makings of the Worst Movie Series of All Time, but only time will tell if it will continue it’s current path.

05 Craptastic Cinema Troll Troll Series: Very few movies can be considered the worst movie of all time, but when you have an entire trilogy of films that rank near the bottom slot, you got something special. The original Troll was nothing to write home about. It wasn’t all that bad, but it was not a classic at all. Few people remember it, and fewer people actually watched it. The real magic came with the sequels “Troll 2” and “Troll 3”. As unspectacular as the original one was, two unsuspecting films were labeled as sequels because they were so bad on their own. Yes, it is another movie series where there was not any connection between them. Further more, the sequels were being shot as different movies in no way connected to “Troll”. In the years since their release, “Troll 3” has since changed it’s name back to it’s original title “Contamination .7” and can be found in Netflix. However, you can still find it as “Troll 3” very commonly. “Troll 2” on the other hand is a completely different story.

Originally a movie called “Goblins”, “Troll 2” was renamed in hopes to gain any audience for a movie that on it’s own would be considered the Worst Movie of All Time. Guess what, “Troll 2” is considered the Worst Movie of All Time. It has to be some of the worst acting ever captured on film. The script makes no sense at all. Part of the problem was that it was written and directed by an Italian couple who barely spoke English. They also forced the cast to stick to the script as written, as unnatural as it sounded. The movie is universally on the bottom, or right next to it, of every major film site’s ranking of all films from best to worst. It is also the subject of the documentary “Best Worst Movie” made by one of the stars of “Troll 2”. I actually fully recommend that movie, it is a great documentary about the film, and the fan base it developed over the years. Funny enough, on the film review site Rotten Tomatoes “Best Worst Movie” has a score of 95% Fresh, where as “Troll 2” is at 0%. Says a lot there.

There are only three movies to this series, with a rumored sequel to Troll 2 in the works. Yep a “Troll 2: Part II”. Seeing as such though, and even though one of the films is considered the worst movie of all time, the Troll series does not have what it takes to consider it the Worst Movie Series of All Time.

Did we get it right? Think another one should be on our list? Let us know in the comment section below.

 

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Categories: Film Ranking

3 Responses so far.

  1. Matt Camarco says:

    This list was actually quite hard to make, so many choices out there. How do you think I did?

  2. Roxy Red says:

    Had a lot of fun reading this. Excellent job!!!! Never seen the Angel movies. My 10 year old daughter recently became obsessed with Chuckie from Childsplay. Not sure how that happened. I don't own any of those movies. But then again she is MY daughter. LOL! You're right though. Just kick the damn thing across the room!

  3. Cherie Beeskau says:

    Good job…although I liked the Earnest movies and Daryn watches them now. Good ol Netflix and Vern! LoL